i have a cat. did you know i have a cat? he’s the sweetest cat in the whole wide world and so, very, very cute. he’s also affectionate and playful. i am so in love with this cat that I have heard whispers of ‘crazy cat lady’ at those times when i get caught going gaga over him like he’s a baby. here is a picture of said cat:
this morning the little fuckwit pissed all over my bed.
the duvet cover, the duvet, the flat sheet, the bottom sheet, the sheepskin mattress thingo and the fucking mattress itself. did he save it up all week? how does one little cat hold so much piss???!!!
errgghh, i don’t know why. he’s normally so sweet, he normally sleeps in the bed. why is he doing this to me? When I caught him, the little bastard was still on top of the bed doing the little scratching thing that cats do to cover their tracks. did he think i wouldn’t notice??
i admit, i lost my temper. i yelled, i swore, i threw him out. i mean, jesus christ, i wasn’t even dressed yet. i think that having to deal with this as you come out of the shower in the morning is probably the best way to start the world’s worst monday.
oh and i not only had to strip the bed and start feeding it bit by bit into my little washing machine, i also had to struggle to singlehandedly drag my mattress out of my room, down the hall, through the kitchen and out into the back yard where I promptly lost control of it and it fell, face first, into the soaking wet lawn and probably cat shit.
do you think this is because I posted about not being religious?
anyway, onwards and upwards. i’ve already been home twice today to feed the washing machine with yet more bedclothes. and I’ve already forgiven the little mofo. and I’m keeping my bedroom door shut at all times from now on.