Hello folks. Hope you all had a lovely long weekend – unless you’re not from Australia in which case you probably just had a regular weekend. I have been MIA because I flew to the great Far North Queensland for a little wintersun action with a very good friend of mine. It went sort of like this:
Thurs 6.30pm – Plane lands in Cairns. Get off and notice it is hotter inside the airport than outside. Establish that the reason is because the air temperature has dropped below 30 degrees celsius, therefore Cairns people are cold, therefore they have turned the aircon off. Woohoo. This is my kind of winter.
Thurs 6.35pm – See dear friend, L and have big hug hello
Thurs 6.40pm – Establish that Jetstar (aka Onestar; aka Shitstar) has left my bag in Sydney. Yay Onestar!
Thurs 7.05pm – Forget suitcase situation and get settled on balcony with L, red wine and view.
Thurs 9.05pm – Finish first bottle of wine and talk incessantly
Thurs 11.10pm – Finish second bottle of wine and begin to babble incoherently. Room begins to spin. Decide now would be a good time to go to bed
Fri 8.00am – Wake up and realise that too much wine on your first night was probably not the best idea you’ve ever had. Get dressed and head down to the dock for Green Island snorkelling excursion to the Great Barrier Reef!
Fri 9.15am – Ten minutes into boat ride establish that wine mixed with boat ride on open ocean definitely not the best idea you’ve ever had. Spend 45minutes on the back deck of boat breathing and making deals with self like ‘I promise to never drink wine again if we can make it off this boat without hurling over the edge’.
9.30am – Try not to listen to local lady tell you that you should never swim in anything in Cairns that doesn’t have chlorine in it.
9.35am – Try not to listen to local lady tell you that the crocs, sharks and jellyfish don’t scare her but then again, the seasnakes are kind of the pits.
9.37am – SEA SNAKES WTF???
Fri 10.00am – Hello Barrier Reef!! Try to not annoy everyone with very specific questions about sea snakes. How many sea snakes are there? Are they common? Have you ever seen one? Just so you know guys, I will shit my pants if a sea snake comes anywhere near me. Have I asked you yet if you have ever seen one?
Fri 10.15am – So did you say there were many sea snakes out here?
Fri 10.20am – Assured that there are very few snakes and that neither of my party have ever seen one out here.
Fri 11.00am – Get in water for some Barrier Reef Snorkelling Action! Hooray!!
Fri 11.02am – See GIANT MUTHA SEA SNAKE
Fri 11.03am – *&^!!!@D)(D&*89d&!!@$%&)7^^8(+(&*^%$#@!@#)!@#$%^%$#$
Fri 11.04am – *^%@!@#$%^&*&^%$!!@#()(&^%$@#$%^&**&*&^%$%!!!$#@!@#$%^&*()
Fri 11.05am – Choke, panic, inhale water through snorkel, thrash, scream underwater and try to swim back to mainland.
Fri 11.10am – Get shit back together and calmly (not calmly) continue snorkelling. Jump and inhale water at any sign of anything including shells, swaying coral or your own hand.
Fri 11.15 – 11.45am – See giant sea turtles, beautiful coral in pink, electric blue, green, yellow, spotted and striped. See Barracuda, giant sea clams and an array of unidentified colourful fish.
Fri 12pm – 4pm – Relax on white sand in brilliant sunshine overlooking perfectly aqua water. Decide winter is the bomb.
It was a beautiful weekend that included horseback riding through the Daintree Rainforest and onto the beach. It included dinner at Port Douglas and long walks on the Esplanade. It included the best Mexican food I’ve ever had in Australia and long ribbons of deserted tropical beaches. But mostly it included catching up with one of my oldest friends – one that I’ve known since my days in Canada, one who was witness to my fake wedding, and one who by pure coincidence now lives in Australia. It was a bit like those worlds colliding that I’ve mentioned before. Who would’ve ever thought we’d see each other again, on the other side of the world, completely out of context, both living in the same (but different) country again by some bizarre twist of fate.